Living life again

“The new normal” is a phrase that I hope you never hear in connection to your own life. Unfortunately, it seems like “the new normal” is used in the aftermath of big, world-altering stuff like Pearl Harbor, 9/11, or COVID, and it’s also used after the loss of a loved one. Sure, I know losingContinue reading “Living life again”

I don’t want to do homework, and other things I don’t have energy for

I’m in a Weather & Climate class this semester, and my brain was not made for science. It’s nice, in many ways, because unlike my other classes, there are concrete and defined answers for everything; it is NOT nice in other ways, like here’s a formula for translating Fahrenheit into Celsius, remember it and useContinue reading “I don’t want to do homework, and other things I don’t have energy for”

Today is Elijah’s due date, or: Geniuses are smart, and also dumb

October is both my favorite month, and the most agonizing one. Faith died October 22nd, 2018, and Elijah was due October 26th, 2019. Today would have been his first birthday if he’d lived. In my head he would’ve been a carbon copy of his beautiful father. [Something I devoutly hope for all my children, pastContinue reading “Today is Elijah’s due date, or: Geniuses are smart, and also dumb”

Two Years Ago Today

Ah, Jesus. What can I say that I haven’t already said? How can I express all this? Two years ago today, October 22nd, 2018, we lost our sweet little girl, Faith Elisa Gager. She was 17 weeks, 5 days old and weighed 7 ounces. She had my hands and feet. [I’ve always liked my handsContinue reading “Two Years Ago Today”

Today I’m Okay

I’m not sure if I should set up this blog this way, but what I’m trying to do is write as frequently as is helpful, but not so often that I burn out and start to spiral [ask me how I know about spiraling]. So, maybe the best thing is to write when I canContinue reading “Today I’m Okay”

Joys Are Coming Fast: An Intro

Hello! A few things up front: This blog isn’t meant to be anything deeply insightful or fancy; this blog is about grief and my journey through it. If you’re reading this because you’re a kind and lovely irl friend, thanks. If you’re reading this because at 2:30 in the morning you googled “how to surviveContinue reading “Joys Are Coming Fast: An Intro”