Grief, Loss, and Intolerable Growth

“I walked a mile with Pleasure;She chatted all the way;But left me none the wiser,For all she had to say. I walked a mile with Sorrow,And ne’er a word said she;But, oh! The things I learned from her,When Sorrow walked with me.”–Robert Browning Hamilton I find this poem to be very true. My life beforeContinue reading “Grief, Loss, and Intolerable Growth”

The Transabdominal Cerclage

Okay, here goes. Cervical Incompetence is a condition where the cervix, because of injury or congenital issues, can’t handle the weight of a pregnancy to term. Labor starts because the cervix fails. I don’t think I ever had a doctor say the words “you have cervical incompetence” to me, but….I knew there was something terriblyContinue reading “The Transabdominal Cerclage”

Two Years Ago Today

Ah, Jesus. What can I say that I haven’t already said? How can I express all this? Two years ago today, October 22nd, 2018, we lost our sweet little girl, Faith Elisa Gager. She was 17 weeks, 5 days old and weighed 7 ounces. She had my hands and feet. [I’ve always liked my handsContinue reading “Two Years Ago Today”

Today I’m Okay

I’m not sure if I should set up this blog this way, but what I’m trying to do is write as frequently as is helpful, but not so often that I burn out and start to spiral [ask me how I know about spiraling]. So, maybe the best thing is to write when I canContinue reading “Today I’m Okay”

Joys Are Coming Fast: An Intro

Hello! A few things up front: This blog isn’t meant to be anything deeply insightful or fancy; this blog is about grief and my journey through it. If you’re reading this because you’re a kind and lovely irl friend, thanks. If you’re reading this because at 2:30 in the morning you googled “how to surviveContinue reading “Joys Are Coming Fast: An Intro”